That is a question I ask myself every day. The answer, quite often, is “I don’t know. Maybe I won’t”. And so I don’t.
A few weeks ago, a colleague spoke at a meeting about feeling like an impostor. I think that is a feeling that I have lived with all my life. I know I don’t know much, & I’m afraid all the time that I will be found out. So I say, or do, very little. And I suspect – no, I KNOW – that this fear has cost me an enormous deal.
Instead, I’ve been writing in my journal most days for the last 9 or so years. The journals I write in are a cheap ruled notebook I picked up in bulk for the kids to write. The words are banal, & describe very often my rather routine boring day. Other times, I’m caught in the emotion of the day, or the previous day, & it shows in my writing. The vocabulary changes. The handwriting changes. I just have to see the slant on the page to know how I was feeling that day 🙂
Over the last three years or so, I’ve gone back to my school days, & what I loved doing most – calligraphy. That focus has found itself showing up in my everyday handwriting.
What’s the point of this post?
Really, there was absolutely none. It was just a feeble attempt to get the words flowing again.