How do you differentiate between a relationship and a transaction? If I reach out to connect with someone, it’s generally in the hope of getting from someone else.
Over the last couple of decades, I’ve rediscovered the power of things I did without overthinking as a child. Some of them are universal.
Like a child? Seems too simple to work in this complex world.
Is it?
As a child, you always want to play. You see someone about the same size as you. You don’t think too much about it; instead you simply ask if they want to play. Most often, the answer is yes. Great fun is had by both/ all parties. Rinse and repeat.
Through the eyes of a child, every such interaction is a relationship. The objective is fun in the moment. It may last only as long as the game. The intent is not fun only for yourself. Instead a strangely yet deep understanding that two (or more) people will have far more fun than playing by yourself.
Something changes as soon as we get ‘older’. The narrative in our heads feels different. The intent is on my want, not our want, because I no longer can presume to know what your want is anymore, & rightly so. Very quickly we get caught in this story we tell ourself. Connection begins to feels harder, transactional.
The need for connection, for human engagement, never goes away though.
Going back to the basics, in a child-like manner, being genuinely interested in us rather than me feels natural again. And apparently, it’s also a super-power.