The body under attack by a virus. Lack of sleep. A fluid environment. There’s so many things going on simultaneously and all in sharp immediate focus.
I’ve remained optimistic through all these changes, despite the physical and mental discomfort. Changing to locus of attention outward has remained my favoured approach. It’s imperfect, of course, and yet works better for both my mental health, and outcomes.
By no means is it easy, though. This journal is an endless litany of the same cascade of emotions, ebbing and flowing like the tides. The details may differ. The only constant is the change in tide every so often.
Today feels like the tide has gone out.
At work, structural, even foundational frailities are evident. Feelings and emotions, tied to people, narratives, and desires are in full flow. At home, the isolation and proximity is wearying, and wearing down patience.
Breathe. That’s the best I can do in the moment. Breathe deep.
Hemingway Readability Index: Grade 5